How To Be Cheap Even In An Emergency Situation

Dear Cheapskate,

Sometimes you have to fly to LA at the last minute because your son is in the hospital in critical condition. You don't have time to prepare a cheap itinerary. You can't book a cheap flight in advance or let your aquaintances with whom you have the slimmest of ties know that you will be mooching off of them.

Tip: Even though you are frantic, take a few minutes to research flights. Prices for last minute flights varied from $150 to $500.

Tip: Grab power bars from the freezer, the ones you purchased at three for a dollar. These will sustain you for days, as I found out.

Tip: Save the free peanuts from the plane to add variety, later, to the diet of power bars.

Tip: If you forgot your tampons, load up on the free ones from the airport bathrooms.

Tip: Spend the night in the visitor's lounge at the hospital. I put three chairs together and used my backpack as a pillow. In spite of the wooden chairs realigning my spine and in spite of activies throughout the night such as people coming in to purchase sun chips from the vending machine, restock the vending machine, and sweep the floor, I slept surprisingly well. And for free! More importantly, my sick son had the comfort of knowing I was there in the next room.

Tip: Don't buy anything from the vending machine. It's expensive.

Tip: Bring a little blanket which can do double duty as a little pillow.

Tip: Bring an emtpy bottle that you can fill with tap water so you don't have to purchase drinks.

Tip: Ask around for a free ride back to the airport.

My only expense was the cost of the plane flight.
The son is recovering.

Winter Cover Crop: Fava Beans

Dear Cheapskate,

I'm finally planting my winter cover crop which I learned how to do at this great free workshop:  Bay Friendly

The thing is to plant fava beans and then have the nitrogen in the roots improve the soil. My soil needs a lot of improvement - though I've lived here over a year I'm still uncovering various lovely syringes as I dig. Life in the city. Gross... Are the fava beans up to the challenge?

The seed stores will sell you 57 grams (1/8 pound) of fava beans for $2.80 plus tax.
Berkeley Bowl, in the bulk food bins, offers fava beans for $2.59 per pound with no tax!!!!

That's $22.40 plus tax per pound from the seed store
or
$2.80 per pound from Berkeley Bowl

Save $19.60 per pound!!!!!

Seeds are a rip off!

See how to grow cheap Cat Grass and Save Your Own Seeds!!

Itchy Feet

Dear Cheapskate,

Itchy feet. I know. Too much information already. You're scared I'll go into a disgusting description of moldy feet.

Take your chances! Read on.

Q: Do itchy feet keep you up at night?

Q: Does the exhorbitant cost of anti-fungal cream keep you from owning a tube of the precious stuff?

Almost Free Solution: Rub your feet with hydrogen peroxide.

Free Solution: Rub your feet with tea tree oil you score on freecycle!

Cheap!

And, oh yeah, Happy New Year.

Guest Cheapskate: Fashion!

Dear Cheapskate,

Today I have a treat for you. The fabulously frugal Michelle is writing the post. Yes, that Michelle! I know!

Missive from Michelle:

"For those of you who read magazines where they go over what the model is wearing and how incredibly much each item costs, here is a little something for you.

This is our friend Ellen wearing one of her many beautifully coordinated outfits.

New down jacket: LL Bean, $5 at Goodwill, wool scarf: $4 Goodwill, pants: $5 (Juicy Couture - normally $100!) Goodwill, matching jacket: $5 (at a different Goodwill!!!), shoes: new, Northface outlet, $25. Who needs to Christmas shop at regular stores!"

Thank you, Michelle!!!

Waste Not, Want Not: Toast

Dear Cheapskate,

Don't throw away food!

I usually eat less than a whole piece of toast for breakfast. But I never throw away the leftover bit!! I put it back into the bread bag and re-toast it the next day. It's still delicious.

If, for some unlikely, tragic reason, it is no longer delicious, I still don't thow it away! I put it outside for the birds; then I plop Beaubeau by the window to watch the show!! Beaubeau loves watching birds!

A lesser Cheapskate might throw away this quarter piece of bread, thus wasting a quarter loaf of bread, thus wasting a quarter the cost of the loaf of bread, this wasting 50 cents (depending on the cost of the loaf of bread).

Savings:
50 Cents per loaf x 26 loaves per year
TOTAL SAVINGS: $13 (or more!!!)

Sometimes I eat only half a piece of toast, increasing my savings ever more!!!

Things Not To Buy: Aluminum Foil

Dear Cheapskate,

Never, ever, buy aluminium foil.

Cheapskate, don't look so sad. We'll figure something out for your Martian costume, and for the antenna on your TV. (I'm glad you don't have cable! Good for you! Cable's a total waste of money and you shouldn't be wasting your time watching TV anyway.)

You can easily live without aluminum foil. I have never purchased aluminum foil, except for that one time in 1987, when I mistakenly thought it would work as a weight loss device. (Don't ask.)

I know, it's handy to use to cover your chicken while it's cooking. Use a lid! Or, better yet, don't eat chicken - it's expensive. And have you heard about how they raise and engineer chickens these days? Yikes. Cruel.

I haven't bought aluminum foil in so long, I don't even know what you might need it for. Cover things with lids or other pans. Cook things right on the pan, not on a layer of aluminum foil.

I do have a piece of aluminum foil in my kitchen drawer. Someone brought me a gift of food, wrapped in aluminum foil. I washed off the foil and kept it! If I think of a reason to use it, I'll use it, then wash it again!!

Save money! Save the environment! Never buy aluminum foil.

Things Not To Buy: Paper Towels

Dear Cheapskate,

Another simple rule for you:

Rule: Never, ever, buy paper towels.

Every time you eliminate an item from you repertoire of things to purchase, not only do you save money, you save trips to the store, relieve yourself of things to carry home, reduce your garbage (and thus get a lighter trash can to carry), and help the environment!

Plus you can sneer at the other suckers who have paper towels in their grcery carts!

Paper towels: Who needs 'em? I mean, humans sruvived for all but the last fifty years, just fine, without paper towels.

Oh, wah, wah. No, you don't need paper towels, not even for drying your lettuce.

Use cloth towels in the kitchen, even for drying your lettuce. I have about twenty kitchen towels. Some of them are threadbare or have holes, but these are the best ones for drying lettuce! Use them for wiping things, drying things, everything you would use paper towels for.

Ok, I, myself, have often been tempted to buy just one, one!, roll of paper towels for the purpuse of washing windows. The windows were sooo dirty and it made my cloth towels filthy!
I resisted tempation and I didn't buy paper towels. Instead I bought a squeegee at the dollar store. For a dollar! It's a great squeegee! It has a spongy side and a squeegee side! It works great for windows. And who wouldn't want to say the word "squeegee" as often as possible!!!

If you want to treat yourself to the paper towel experience, you can do so for free!! Whenever you go to the food court at Costco, or a place that offers free paper napkins, grab a few! Even if you don't buy the food court stuff. (Never buy the food court stuff! See upcoming post on not buying snacks.) Then you can luxuriate, on special occasions such as washing a mirror, with a paper-towel-like wipe!!!

Hummingbird Food

Dear Cheapskate,

In my never ending quest to provide entertainment for Beaubeau, I lured some birds to the window for him to watch. It's like TV for cats, only better! Hummingbirds. I got some hummingbird feeders on freecycle and then I went to buy some hummingbird food at the pet store. It's expensive!! $5.99 for 2 liters of red liquid. I read the ingredients: Sugar, red food coloring, and water - for $5.99!!! $5.99 for sugar, red dye, and water???? I could make this at home for practically free!!


Hummingbird Food
Dissolve 1/4 cup sugar in 1 cup water
(I figured the hummingbirds would be ok without the poisonous red food coloring.)

That's it!!

2 Liters Hummingbird Food From Store: $5.99
2 Liters Hummingbird Food From Home: 40 cents

The hummingbirds guzzle this stuff!! And I don't blame them! Yay, sugar! The little sugar addicts drink a liter a week. That's 52 liters per year!

Savings per year: $290.68

But what about Beaubeau???

Beaubeau lounges at the window basking in the sun while the hummingbirds flit around right in front of his face!! Beaubeau looks up ever so slightly and says, "Oh, another hummningbird."

I got a cutting of pineapple sage from freecycle and it grew into this big plant! When the hummingbirds aren't too drunk on sugar water, they drink/eat/guzzle/sip/snort the pineapple sage. They're so cute!

Suggestions from a Brilliant Cheapskate

Dear Cheapskate,

One of our esteemed fellow cheapskates has sent several amazingly cheap tips!! She is a genius!!

Here are her tips:

1) "I'm not sure if this is too cheap or what, my husband thinks it is, but after we've squeezed out as much toothpaste from a tube as we can, I cut the bottom of the tube off, scrape what I can off from the bottom inch or so, cut a bit more off, etc, etc, until I've cut most of the tube off and am scraping paste off from inside the funnel-part and neck. You can get at least 5-10 additional brushings out, depending on how flat you've squeezed the tube. Maybe more if you don't use a flat object to squeeze paste to the top. My extremely cheap suggestion."

2) "Another tip - if you don't eat organic, have you checked out ethnic stores? I've been meaning to check out the Indian places on San Pablo and University in Berkeley, I hear spices are very reasonable there."

3) "I have a money saving tip for you re: fleas and cats. Several years ago, a vet at school told me that Advantage (NOT Advantix or Advantage Multi) for dogs was exactly the same as Advantage for cats, just put in different sized tubes. You just need a syringe (no needle). Ever since, I have never paid the cat dosing price for our three cats. I buy Advantage for large dogs (the bigger the better), pull out a tube, shake well, squirt a little on a piece of waxed paper or foil, something you can throw away, and suck up a dose in a syringe. If you get too much out, you can put it back in the tube. For cats and kittens under 9lb, it's 0.4ml, for cats over 9lb, it's 0.8ml. Then you hunt down little Fluffy, darn her flea-ridden hide, pin her down, and apply as normal. http://www.lisaviolet.com/cathouse/advantage.html - works with Frontline, too (diff. doses) if that's your poison of choice. I personally won't go more than two months between doses during the warm months once the cats get fleas, I have small, delicious, and tender-skinned children. And an equally unamused larger delicious and tender-skinned husband. I buy a mondo pack for mondo dogs ($65 online at Fosters Smith, no idea where I got it last time), and it will last me easily a year. Same 6 pack for cats would cost just about the same amount and only last me a couple doses. If you only have one cat, it would last you a very long time even if you dosed every month."


Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things Not To Buy: Juice

Dear Cheapskate,

Have you read the nutritional information on the back of the juice bottle? Any kind of juice? It's mostly sugar. Just empty, cavity-inducing, fattening calories. I never buy juice and I save money. Drink tap water instead! Tap water is pretty much free!! And it's definitely delicious! Put some in the refrigerator to make it even more delicious. Yum. Nice, cold tap water.

If you have three kids and buy a gallon of organic apple juice and a half gallon of fresh squeezed orange juice per week, that's, like, $14 per week. That's $728 per year!!

Pets: Fleas

Dear Cheapskate,

Did you happen to own a dog in the 1970's? Were you overwhelmed with fleas? Did you do the best you could and arm your dog with a flea collar and a flea-shampoo bath? Did the fleas fill the carpet and jump so high, en masse, that you had to walk across your room high in the air, by stepping from a chair to a wobbly desk to a chair to the bed, to avoid the floor where an ocean of vicious fleas awaited your delicious leg blood? Would you vacuum them up but it didn't help much? Never mind your poor, dear, miserable, itching, scratching pet?

Now there's this miracle flea liquid you apply to your pet once a month! Just a few drops between your pet's shoulder blades a mere once a month and there are no fleas! Personally, after my experience with the untrainable, undefeatable, fleas of the 1970's, I was willing to pay any price for these fabulous anti-flea drops. WAS willing to. It's, like, twenty bucks a pop. Worth it? Yes.

But I wondered: How can I save some money here?

I happened to talk to a vet (a veterinarian, not a veteran) who told me that indoor cats can get by with the treatments every two months. Hallelujah! I save $10 per month, or $120 per year!!

Then I wondered: What if I give this to my cat every four months?
So I did! No fleas! I save $15 per month, or $180 per year!

Then, my friend told me he never puts the drops on his indoor cat. But he lives in an apartment on the fourth floor in the city. Cockroaches, yes. Fleas, no.

My cat, Beaubeau, lives on the first floor and sits by a lot of open windows, tempting the fleas with all his soft, thick, great-for-hiding-in, fur.

Maybe Beaubeau can hold off the fleas for five months! Six! I'll save even more money!

Here's what I'm wondering: Why don't they put this stuff on kids who have lice?

Sunblock

Dear Cheapskate,

I recently spent part of a Saturday afternoon at the makeup counter at Macy's. I know! I can't believe I went to Macy's either! But my spendy friend wanted to go, and I wanted to spend time with my spendy friend. Going to the makeup counter at Macy's is definitely not an activity for cheapskates, let me tell you.
There were all these hopeful ladies with bad skin, scurrying around the makeup counters, desperate to spend, like, a hundred dollars for one lousy little jar of miracle facial cream! A hundred dollars!

Q: What is the correct amount of money to spend on miracle facial cream?
A: 99 cents.

You can get a huge jar of miracle facial cream at Grocery Outlet for 99 cents.

Q: What is the correct (and free) miracle facial treatment activity for a Saturday afternoon?
A: Exercise! Preferably bike riding because it's the most fun. And wear sunblock.

Stock up on sunblock when they have it at Grocery Outlet. I just bought two bottles for $3.99 each. I saved $16!!! (It would have been $12 each at a regular store.) Woowee! I don't have to worry about my face or my credit card and I can spend my Saturdays bike riding!!




PS Why is it called sun block? It doesn't actually block the sun. It doesn't work that well.

Tools: Tree Trimming

Dear Cheapskate,

Do you trim your trees once or twice a year? I do. I use a couple of ingenious trimming tools. There is this awesome tool: It's a saw connected to the end of a long extentable pole! Before I knew about this particular tool, I had a complicated system for tree trimmming involving ladders, rope, a hacksaw, sneakers with good grip, a helmet, and lots of shouting and running away fast.

Is this wonder tool expensive to purchase? Probably. It must be because it's a wonder tool. But I don't even know because I check it out from the Tool Lending Library for free!

I often get tools from the Tool Lending Library. It's connected to the Book Lending Library, so sometimes I check out some books while I'm there, too. It's great!

Tip: Return the tools on time. The overdue fees are large.

Finding Things: Hair Ties

Dear Cheapskate,

Remember that time you were laughing about how people used to save bits of string or save rubber bands from newspapers? In 1973 your dad had that rubber band ball? You were practically doubled over. Well, don't laugh! The tip I'm giving you today is in the realm of such extreme cheapness.

Get our your hankerchief, for you will soon be weeping at my sad, sad story.

My sad story:
When I was growing up, I was too poor to afford fancy coated elastic hair ties. I had use regular old rubber bands saved from newspapers to make a ponytail! Regular old rubber bands pull your hair out and hurt like crazy. So I learned to keep a sharp eye out for abandoned elastic hair ties.

Luckily they're all over the place! Especially in parking lots. To this day I rejoice when I see a nice hair tie lying on the street, free for the taking! Oh, blessed un-pulled-out hair!! This morning I found one while I was riding my bike down Telegraph Ave. Not only is my hair safe from painful pulling, but the hair tie has a happy new life! And I save monney!

You may think it's gross to use a hair tie that has been run over by cars and has maybe been in someone else's greasy ponytail, but so what? It's better than having your hair pulled out by a mean rubber band.

You may think this is not a way to save a lot of money, but listen: If you are this cheap in every aspect of your life, you will save a bundle!!!

Read and learn, Cheapskate, read and learn.

Food: Bananas

Dear Cheapskate,

The cheapest place to buy bananas is Costco. A pack of nine bananas is $1.29, or 14 cents per banana. They are very green though. Will they ripen nicely? It's a gamble.

The next cheapest place to buy bananas is at Trader Joe's. At Trader Joe's a banana will cost you 19 cents, regardless of size.

At Berkely Bowl a medium banana is 25 cents (based on a 69 cents per pound price).

At Grocery Outlet, seven bananas in a bag is $1.99, or 28.4 cents per banana. I know it's hard to believe, but the almighty Grocery Outlet is not always the cheapest!!
You know what else isn't the cheapest at Grocery Outlet? Raisins. Today I could have bought a two pound bag of raisins for $3.99 at Grocery Outlet but I didn't because raisins are only $1.25 per pound at Berkeley Bowl! But this is not a post about raisins, it's a post about bananas. Try to focus on the correct subject, please.

At the Quick Stop gas station, one banana is 75 cents.

Yummy bananas!!!!!

Food: Meat

Dear Cheapskate,

Here's my suggestion for buying meat:

Never, ever buy meat.

It's ok to eat meat if it's offered to you for free, like at a party, or as part of the free snack at Costco. I just had a delicious free sample of top sirloin at Berkeley Bowl. ($7.99 a pound to purchase - Do Not Purchase!)

One pound of hamburger costs, like, three bucks!!! That plus some vegetables and bread will only make two meals! For about the price of one pound of hamburger you could have twenty hearty bowls of Bean-Lentil soup!!!! For one pound of top sirloin you could have fifty-five bowls of Bean-Lentil soup!!!!

Two dollars - Price of meal with hamburger
18 cents - Price of meal of Bean-Lentil soup

Savings by not eating meat: 91-96%

I'd rather put that dollar eighty-two into the bank and lentils into my stomach!

There are all those pesky environmental conerns, too. It takes 500 gallons of water and three acres of land to make one lousy pound of hamburger. (Ok, I made those numbers up. It's something like that. Look it up.)

How many green beans could you grow with three acres of land and 500 gallons of water? A LOT!!!! Way more than a pound!!!

Food: Super Cheap Soup

Dear Cheapskate,


I hope you are hungry. Very hungry. Because I have a huge, cheap meal for you. I, myself, am stuffed, and I have plenty leftover! You'll be stuffed, too.


Bean-Lentil Soup
1 cup dry red beans - 50 cents
Soak them in water overnight

In a skillet cook up (with or without a little oil):
2 onions, chopped up - 40 cents
lots of tomatoes from garden, chopped up - 0 cents
1 red bell pepper, chopped up - 50 cents
1 thing of garlic, chopped up - 20 cents

Dump the above, plus 1 cup dry lentils, plus 4 cups water, plus

spices - 20 cents
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp ginger powder
1/2 tsp salt

into a big pot and simmer for an hour.

Tasty!!


For $1.80 (or less - I overestimated the costs) you'll have soooo much Bean-Lentil soup! Like, ten giant bowls of the stuff! That's 18 cents per meal! That's ten meals for one person. That's five meals for two people! Or if you're like me, that's two meals for one person, who then is sick of beans and lentils, and then there's a meal for two, and then one meal in a tupperware as a "lovely gift" to a friend, and then three meals into the freezer for next week after a little break from Bean-Lentil soup.

Cheap!!!

Clothing: Thrift Stores

Dear Cheapskate,

I just bought my whole winter wardrobe! My whole winter wardrobe, plus a cap, plus two Christmas presents!! I did blow almost my whole daily budget in one fell swoop - I spent $9.
I should tell you that I am very lucky in a particular way. Lucky in a way that makes it easy for me to get all the clothing I need for free or almost free. I am lucky to have a special talent:

I am blessed with my own sense of style.

This means that I can wear whatever I want. And what I want to wear is clothes that are comfortable and cheap.

Rule: Never, ever pay more than $5 for an article of clothing.

I have not had new clothes for a very long time. I scored at the thrift store today. I got a Gap cotton turtleneck, which appears to be unused, for $3. I got an Express velour hoodie, so new the tags are still on (!) for $3. I got three brand new caps for $1 each! I only need one cap but I think I can unload the other two on my kids as Christmas presesnts! They'll think I spent twelve bucks!!! Ha Ha!(Actually, they won't think that because 1) they know I wouldn't spend $12 on a cap and 2) they read this blog.)

Tip: If you rarely buy clothes, it will be that much more exciting when you do. I am very excited about my new clothes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next Sunday, at this particular wonderful thrift store, all the clothes will be one dollar!!!! Woo wee baby!

Bean Counting

Dear Cheapskate,

For you, I wasted 59 cents. For you! Ok, really for me, so I could prove a point and feel smug. My dear Cheapskate, sometimes you tell me you're frugal because you ate a can of beans in lieu of meat. I am not impressed. You can do so much better. I will tell you how. It's simple.

Buy dry beans, not canned.

Here's what I did:

I bought a 16 ounce can of cooked black beans for 59 cents. (Wasteful.)
I bought a 16 ounce bag of dry black beans for 99 cents. (Not wasteful.)

I counted the beans in the can, one by one!!! There were 427 cooked beans in the "59 cents" can.
I counted out 427 dry beans. After that, I felt silly counting beans so I didn't actually count all the beans remaining in the bag of dry beans. I can tell you that 427 dry beans is not even 1/8th of the bag!!! That's around 12 cents for the same number of beans in the "59 cents" can!! The bag of dry beans is still practically full even with 427 beans removed!! Wow! There are lot of beans in that bag. Bean heaven.

You save over 80% by buying dry beans instead of canned beans!! That's a bundle! Imagine saving 80% on everything you spend money on!!

That's like getting five cans of beans for the price of one!! It's like getting four cans of beans free! A whole family could be stuffed with dry beans (I suggest cooking them before eating) for only 59 cents.

When you buy the beans in a can, you're paying someone four times the cost of the beans just to cook them! And put them in a can.

Dry beans are the way to go. What a bargain. Don't get me started on split peas and lentils!!

PS If you're the green type, dry beans must be the superior choice - no cans to manufacture, transport, and recycle.

Freecycle: Given

Dear Cheapskate,

Here are some things I've given recently:

Fireplace Stuff. This came with my house and after not using it for a year, I am sure I can part with it.







Chocolate Chip Cookies. My addiction. Offering these on freecycle was a big hit! I met some cool people. These two nice brothers came over by bicycle and had cookies on my porch. (And took a bag home with them.) They tipped me off to the free garden soil at the ecolgy center!



Bike shorts. By coincidence the person who asked for them was the person who gave me the pantyhose!