Friday, February 7, 2014

WHAT happened to her eyes?

Dear Cheapskate,

Do you have trouble reading small print? Like this. Do you need a magnifying glass to read the newspaper? Wait, Cheapskate, do you read a newspaper, a real newspaper made out of paper, and not an electronic tablet? Wow. No wonder your eyes went bad, you're old. Really old.
Fear not!!
I know a miracle!!!! It's top secret but I love you so I will tell you about this miracle. Are you ready??

Reading glasses!!

I know what you're thinking. Miracles are expensive. How much do these miraculous "reading glasses" cost? You can't afford the millions of dollars. WRONG! I mean, no, you can't afford millions of dollars - good luck buying a diamond encrusted bathtub- but you can afford this particular miracle.

What would you pay for a miraculous little device that transforms your eyes from lazy globs of mucus into finely honed, focused, precision, type-face recognition machines? $100? $500? $10,000??? Sure, but you only have to pay a dollar!! One little dollar! You'll be able to read and you'll look smart, too! I know you're smart but you'll look even smarter sporting glasses!!

The dollar store has reading glasses for a dollar!!! That's ONE DOLLAR.  I went crazy and bought three pairs! And one of the pairs is diamond-encrusted!!!!! (photo coming soon)

You're welcome.

Cheapskate, what are the best things to buy at the dollar store?

1 comment:

  1. AnonymousMay 02, 2015

    Dollar store: i find they often have good prices (well, yeh, a dollar) on adhesives like superglue and generic threaded-fastener lockers (aka loctite). sunvisors. toothpicks, like a giant box for, uh, a buck.


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