I'm cheap. You know I'm cheap. But am I too cheap? Never!! Absolutely never! Never ever!
Except that one time.
This is embarrassing. Maybe I shouldn't tell you this.
While riding my bicycle I became hungry. As I reached into my back pocket for a life-sustaining, 3-for-a-dollar, power bar, I spied an unopened package of peanut butter crackers on the side of the road. You know those orange day-glo cracker sandwiches? They were unopened!! Why not pick them up and eat them for free? What could be the harm? They were unopened! I'd save, like, 33.3 cents!!!!
I took a big bite.
Have you ever snacked on road tar mixed with powdered laundry detergent and poison? The crackers looked like crackers but baking on asphalt had transformed them into something else.
I knew I shouldn't have told you about this. I hope you still love me.
Cheapskate, have you ever tried to save money and realized it was a big mistake? Do tell!!!!!!