Saturday, March 27, 2010

Things Not To Buy: Anything From A Convenience Store

Dear Cheapskate,

Tip: Never, ever, buy anything from a convenience store.

By "Convenience Store" I mean any little 7-11 type store, any gas station store, and any "Mom and Pop" (or in the case of my 'hood, a "Geezer and Nephew") corner store.

Last Thursday, while traveling to Napa with my son (he's alive!) for his job interview, we stopped at a Rotten Robbie to fill up our water bottles (free) and to use the bathroom (free). We observed harried commuters parting with their money! Cars were lined up to buy gas. (The cars weren't buying the gas, the people were buying the gas.) Our bicycles didn't need any gas. We got to Napa (40 miles) for free!

Inside this money-sucking establishment a gaggle of bookpack-wearing, ipod-listening middle schoolers were also busy parting with their money. A 13 year old girl ahead of me in line (I had to wait to get the bathroom key -

"Do you have a water fountain?"
"A wa-ter foun-tain?"
"A what?"
"Never mind. Can I have the bathroom key?"
"The bathroom key?"
Grudgingly hands over the bathroom key.

spent $6.05 on a handful of candy bars!! Ok, yes, candy bars are mighty delicious, but $6.05?? Where did she get $6.05, anyway? If she put $6.05 into a bank account every day then at the end of the year she'd have $2,208.25!!!

If she had planned ahead and bought the candy bars 3-for-a-dollar at Grocery Outlet she would have saved $5.05 per day, or $1,842.25 per year.

On a recent trip to Grocery Outlet I  saw an enterprising middle schooler stocking up on 3-for-a-dollar candy bars to sell at school. Nice little business!

Tip: Every single thing at a convenience store can be purchased for a fraction of the price elsewhere.

Tip: There is nothing you actually need at a convenience store. Want, yes. Need, no. (Moon pie, pig ears, beer, coke slush puppy, Hulstler magazine, RV magazine, lottery ticket, energy vitamin pack, car freshener for that "new car" smell, jerky, cigarette lighter...)


  1. But what if it's 3:00 a.m. Christmas Day?

  2. Yes, I will have to arrange to buy the fluorescent pickles and ghastly beef jerky beforehand!

  3. Geezer and Nephew. Bahahaaaahaaaa!!!!

  4. Mmm, Convenience store candy. When I was a child and my sister and my best friend slept over we would walk to the cornerstore to buy .05 candies, and then spend the evening watching movies and eating lots and lots of candy. Good times. It took half an our to walk to the convenience store, so it almost made it healthy, but not really.


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