Thursday, February 4, 2010

Number One Beauty Tip

Dear Cheapskate,

Number One Beauty Tip: Only look in the mirror in dim light.

I got this idea from Blanche duBois. She only met her suitors in locations with dim light in order to appear more young and attractive.

The best thing for your vanity is to look into the mirror sparingly, and only in dim light. I do this and I always look GREAT! At least I think I look great and that's what matters. In dim light I have no wrinkles, no blemishes, and no scars. My skin is smooth and my non-existant makeup is always perfect! My DIY haircut looks ok and my nose doesn't even look that crooked.

How does this save money? In oh so many ways!

Electricity: First thing in the morning, it's half light or foggy, DO NOT turn on the bathroom light! Save money on electricity! Keep that light dim.

Gear: Use a regular mirror, preferably coated with fog from the shower and obscured by rust spots. God forbid the magnifying mirror, lighted mirror, or "vanity" lighting. Don't spend money on any of this stuff.

Makeup: I feel no need to buy expensive hydrating lotions with pseudo-scientific names, anti-wrinkle creams, or botox treatments!! This save a bundle of money.

Here's the trick though. When you go out into the world, be careful or you may accidentally catch your reflection somewhere in harsh light, like, say, in your rear view mirror on a sunny day. This can be quite a shock. If this happens, tell yourself that even Angelina Jolie would look bad in your rear view mirror. Then run home and admire yourself in the dim light.

1 comment:

  1. BRILLIANT. You are a genius of our times. I will be implementing this plan ASAP.


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